Never Ending story
by Secret Hopeless Romantic
Summary: Well you have heard of 10 things about you. Well its like that with twists. And of course the Edward Bella romance.
1. Chapter 1

**10 things I hate about you stylie.**

**I really liked the idea of combining the characters of twilight with the Shakespearian teenage plot line. Others have tried but even though there stories are good I'm really wanting to take it my own way so I have the power. (Evil cackle.) So here goes nothing.**

**Oh yes I started another story which I didn't finish but I will gradually complete both stories. It's just that I have a short attention span and if I'm forced to write it will turn out shit.**

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First encounter: Bella's point of view

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Life for me in school you could say is the normal teenage experience. I wake up get dressed, spend the day bored out my mind, share my views with the chauvinistic pigs, get detention for sharing said views in this patriarchal society, go home, do homework, yell at my dad for being oppressive, don't listen to my punishment, then go to sleep. Yes definitely the normal teenage experience.

Detention or seeing the counsellor is a daily ritual for me. I and miss cope have and good friendship. I go in, she reads out the crime, goes 'tut tut' and I leave. It's quite a well rehearsed routine.

The only problem I face at school is a repugnant boy called James Donner. Sounds like the typical teenage that doesn't he. I guess you could say he does what he says on the tin. We used to date until well one night he took things too far. I ever went to the cops or told anyone about it. My father didn't even know I was dating anyone. It happen just after my mum left and my family were all struggling to cope with that fact let alone my little bomb shell. Even my best friend Rosalie doesn't know. After that night I stayed of school for a week under the pretence of helping my dad cope, and when I returned back to school I changed into what is described to the outside world as the shrew. I did what I want when I wanted, and said what I want when I wanted. I cut my social ties and after a month or so the school began to fear me and just gave me my space. Well all but three people.

Rosalie and her boyfriend Emmett chat with me from time to time shaking of all remarks aimed at me from the outside world. Though neither of them is popular per cay they both are well respected. Rose the hottest girl I know is head cheerleader with Emmett is the head of the rugby team. I know cliché couple but their personalities aren't. Rose is such a bitch to the skanky hors at our school that her friends are few and far between and well Emmett chooses to spend every waking minute with her that you could say he is tainted by association. And well I didn't do much to help their position.

The other person, who still won't avoid me, is the one person that I wished would. James Donner. He seems to take a thrill out of scaring me shitless, spreading rumours or what not. Which is partly the reason for the brick wall personality, and lately it's been getting thicker and thicker and I no longer crumble. James Donner, I remind myself is a pig and I in no way will let him win.

My family are a night mare. My dad Charlie is well obsessed with us keeping our virginity. Which you could understand after all my mum had me as a teenage pregnancy. So he uses his powers as chief of police to get us to abide by his rules. NO DATING UNTIL WE GRADUATE. Not that I have a problem with that rule, after what happened I don't see me doing any dating for a very long time. Well I'm only 18 so I have time. But my sister doesn't seem to hold the same views.

Alice typical wanna be popular. And she is to an extent, but how popular can you be when you can't go to parties or date the hot guys. Of course she blames all of her social failings on me and shuns me in society. Oh what a pity. The only problem I have with her is the amount of time she spends with James these days. And with her having no idea what happened I can't do anything. I can't tell him to stay away, I may not crumble when he talks or corners me but I can't start the engagement. And there is no way in heaven Alice would listen to me; she seems to think I have a metal disorder.

I guess I'll just have to pray to god that he can stop her from doing something stupid.

Today was a normal day. School was boring and my klutziness decided to make an appearance. I'm not good at sport at all, and today we were swimming. Backstroke. If it weren't for coach clap I would have passed out in the pool after bashing my head on the wall. But he thankfully didn't let it get that far. But by lunch the whole school was buzzing about the nearly drowned shrew.

"Hey swan." Some dipshit called. I just turned and glared. Luckily this seemed to make the verbal abuse remain behind my back instead of having to have a sparring match with anyone.

I walked out the cafeteria to head to my next period only to be cornered by none other than James Donner."What?" I hissed practically spitting in his face. He was around a foot taller than me so I had to crane my next up to create eye contact.

"Nothing Darling. Just wondered if you wanted me to kiss that pretty little head of yours better." He grinned in a sinister fashion.

"Bugger off James." I was tempted to knee him in the groin but didn't want to think about his revenge so I settled for just pushing him roughly away. "When I'm no longer scared of the STD's that might be covering that mouth of yours I'll give you a call." I said practically speeding down the near baron corridors. Thankfully he let me go.

Biology was nothing special I had the whole table to myself. Mostly due to people wanting to have a ten feet no contact zone between them and me. We were all set to start the class, everyone sat in their seats when a tall guy with muscular body, and bronze sex hair burst into the room.

"You know knocking is a custom which most people use." I muttered down to my books on my desk.

"Ahhhh....... Mister Cullen so glad you could join us." He paused handing him a book. "Class this is Mr Edward Cullen. Due to an incident in another class he's been changed to join ours. And I expect him to be on his best behaviour." I looked up to see Mr. Banner motioning towards my table. Of course it had to be my table it's the only free table in the room. I openly cringed at the idea. The close contact zone with him within arm's reach put me one edge, but that's not what I would tell anyone else.

"Sir." My droning voice begged. "Is there really a need for him to change classes? I mean for one thing I was actually hoping to learn something in this class, not have to help the delinquent." I spat out. The idea of the boy sitting that close was creating butterflies in my stomach.

"Oh don't worry Bella. You won't be sharing a table with Mister Cullen." I shot him a smug look. But Mr. Banner continued. "Well not today anyway, you've just earned yourself a one way ticket to detention. You can properly welcome your lab partner next lesson."

"Sir." I all but screeched my face incredulous. It was so not fair. Everyone knew that Cullen was the type who couldn't be bothered in class. I was just pointing out the obvious.

"No Bella. I think Mrs Cope is missing your company." I sighed heavily packing up my things glaring at Cullen as I stomped out the class room. I didn't even know this jerk off and he was already pissing me off.

When I got to Mrs Cope's office she had already got coffee and biscuits set out on her table. I guess she was good at guessing when I was about to visit. Daily rituals remember.

"Hello Bella. Coffee?" she said as I slumped down in the chair opposite her desk.

"I would love one thanks." She pushed a mug with two biscuits towards me. I nodded my head in thanks picking up the mug sipping it.

"So what did you do this time?" she inquired.

"Oh the usual defended my rights for a good education." I took another sip of the coffee nonchalantly.

"Bella." She said leaning forward on her arms looking me down. Oh here we go. Mrs Cope doesn't know what happened. But she suspected that something in my past is creating the moods and always questions me when I come in.

"This coffee is really good I guess you got the fair-trade stuff this time instead of nestle." I attempted to sway her attention with no success.

"Yes. But don't change the subject. As much as I love these moments we have together, I wish you would actually talk. This routine has been going on for the past two years. Before that I never saw you and I only heard good things about you so something changed and I wish you would confide in someone. And you know the confidentiality we have in this room. I can't tell anyone anything unless it could harm another student. And even then personal details can't be disclosed." She looked genuinely concerned. Like a mother hen.

"You know me Mrs. Cope. I just come for the company. Oh and the biscuits." I chuckled trying to lighten the mood. After the first month of getting detentions and stuff, she had become concerned and gave me these talks on a continuous basis. Part of me wanted to tell someone but I new what would happen. As soon as you let one detail slip they would want me to tell them everything then my dad would force me to press charges. But it was just my word against his and well his parents can afford the best layers. So what would be the point?

"I really wish you would stop this act." She sighed slumping back into her chair. "It's not good you know. Repressing things. I don't know what happened to you but it's clear you're not coping." She started to rub her forehead.

"What good would it do." I murmured accidentally. This was the first time I had come anywhere close to admitting it. And now I let that slip she would never stop. _Arghhh foot in mouth syndrome._

"Admitting something is the first step in recovery." She was spurred on by my comment.

"I'll tell that to my sister. She is definitely messed up in the head." I joked getting back to lighter topics. But Mrs Cope frowned. I guess she was a little disappointed in me but it's my life not hers so she can't tell me to talk if I don't want to.

"How is your sister?" I guess she had given up for today. Thankfully.

"Oh you know still living a consumer driven life. Aiming for popularity but failing due to association to moi. It's a real shame." I let sarcasm saturate my tone with the last part. Mrs Cope chuckled. We'd joked many times about mine and my sisters differences.

"Yes rumour has it that a mister Donner has a crush on your sister." I flinched at his name. Which Mrs. Cope noticed raising an eyebrow at me? I quickly put my mask back in place.

"Let's just say _Donner _doesn't do crushes he does conquests." I said in a malicious.

"Care to expand on that?" it was clear that Mrs Cope new that there was more behind this. I just wondered how long it would take to put two and two together. "Bella what has James done to you?" Apparently not long. And especially not long enough. "Where you one of his conquests? As you put it." I just flinched again and looked out the window drinking my coffee to divert my attention. But she didn't push it any further. At least not for now. "Well I think it's time to go back to classes now the period is over." I hadn't even noticed the bell ring. I got up to leave, heading out the door. "Oh and Bella." I paused. "No matter what your views are, unless given permission to do so, keep them to a minimum. The teachers don't seem to have the same amount of patience as I do." I chuckled along with her walking out the door.

When I got home that night after my hour detention occupying me after school I was pounced on by my father.

"In detention again that's not the way I raised you Bella." No you didn't raise me at all I thought to myself.

"Sorry Char... Dad." It's always easier just to go along with it.

"I don't know what's gotten into you lately. Don't get me wrong, your dislike of the other sex is heaven scent. Unlike with Alice, you don't give me any trouble in that department." Oh if only you knew. "But it doesn't mean you have to annoy your teachers." He ranted.

"Sorry dad. I just didn't want to have spend the remainder of the term basically spoon feeding some moronic boy who is too stupid to be bothered to learn." And I didn't want to be sitting next to a guy.

"Well in that case. I can understand but just try and be more polite next time."

"Sure sure." I replied leaving the room.

"Bellllllllllllllllllllllllllla!" a high pitch scream flooded the halls.

"What now Alice?" I replied tersely. She came running down the stairs with an angry expression on her face.

"Why do you have to be such a public horror story, now you're adding nearly drowning in the pool to your repertoire? I could lose popularity because of this. Tainted by association. Can't you just be less of a laughing stock?" She screeched stomping in an ungraceful fashion over to the sofa.

"Why does it really matter?" I asked already knowing the answer. You could see the vain about to pop in her head she was turning that red.

"OMG. How can you even ask me that?" she looked incredulously at me. "God my life is already awful and you just made my name even more of a laughing stock. I mean we can't even date. "

"And how is your not dating my fault. You have Charlie wrapped around your little finger, so just get him to change his mind." I spat back at her.

"Daddddyyyyy!" she went running out the room into the kitchen. I followed to watch the circus show.

"OOOOHHHH Daddy." I mimicked. "Life is sooo unfair. I never get to have some greasy acne infested guy feel me up and pressure me into situations I will regret later." I joined in chuckling with my father.

"Shut up Bella." Alice glared at me before turning a one eighty and smiling sweetly back at Charlie. "Please daddy, just keep an open mind about this. There's this boy...."

"No." Charlie interrupted not even raising his voice.

"But you haven't even heard what I was going to say yet." She pouted.

"Oh wow let me. I can do so much better." I said bouncing with fake enthusiasm. Alice just glared. "Well daddy there is this boy and he's so sweet and wonderful. He's smart responsible and he asked me out and I really really really want to go. Pleaseeeeee!" I said smiling sweetly. I couldn't tell if she was still mad at me with the total shock clouding her face. I guess to her I was acting human for ounce.

"Exactly." She whispered.

Charlie just looked at me a big grin on his face. He knew me well enough to know when I was taking the piss. So I continued to enlighten Alice, who hadn't got the fastest mind in the world.

"I think I speak for Dad when I say that that is all complete bollocks. There is no such thing as a responsible teenage guy." I grinned knowing I had burst her little bubble. Alice was fuming; I wish I had a camera to use this expression for her year book photo.

"Look, I understand Ali, really I do. But I don't want you dating. But if you're really desperate I will make the rule a bit more lenient." Alice perked and I visibly cringed. "You can date.... when Bella does." I thought Ali was going to pass out. She was attempting to protest but words wouldn't come out.

I was so happy. I didn't know how I was going to contain the joy. But then I realised all this new rule meant was an increase in the begging and nagging from my oh so adorable sister.


	2. Chapter 2

Developing Love: Jaspers point of view.

I've been sitting in this lunch hall for the past year and the focus of my attention has never changed. Alice. Alice Swan the love of my life. She is all that is all that is ever that is on my mind. She is perfect. And I wouldn't want to be anywhere but here. I know we hadn't ever spoken but I wouldn't want to change anything at all. Well the past year I wouldn't want to have changed anything. Just seeing was the highlight of my day.

Of course the highlights of my day were also ruined by the ever increasing negatives. And he goes by one name and one name only. James Donner. The prick of the school. The past month his new obsession has been Alice. Sweet caring bubbly Alice. I guess in a way I should be thankful for this because it sort of kicked me in to action. I was going to ask her out. I mean I was going to try to ask her out. There was just the problem of women always travelling around in packs.

How are you supposed to get one on their own? They go everywhere together and the group always seems to enlarge when the bathroom is mentioned. Don't get me wrong I'm not scarred that she will humiliate me by not talking to me because she will, its more when she turns me down I would prefer for that to be in private. You could say that I'm the next rung down in popularity so I'm tolerated, but I'm still expected to abide by their rules. So asking her out could go to ways.

Scenario one I ask her. A huge smile covers her face she leaps into my arms and we kiss passionately while I twirl her around in my arms. We date for a few years and then when we have both graduated we move in together go to college. Next step get married have kids live happily ever after. Simple.

But then scenario two comes creeping into my mind and well my heart starts to break. I ask her. She looks me up a down, then looks upon me with pity and publicly says how my declaration was sweet and kindly turns me down. She wouldn't do it in a cruel way she is just to kind for that. But the idea of the words exiting her lips makes my knees weak in a bad way.

So I was still sitting in that the launch hall watching her in her element as she conversed with the other students. When I saw the opportune moment. The bell was ring for class and her friends had already dispersed for their class. And she was left there packing her shoulder satchel with her files. So I sucked up the courage and walked over her. The closer I got the more I was able to hear her gentle humming. It sounded like the angles from heaven. It's the closest I had ever gotten to her and I was very nervous to say the least.

"Alice... Um Alice." I said caressing her name with my tongue. I tapped on the shoulder to get her attention. She practically jumped around but not out of surprise it was just her personality. I smiled in response to her happy mood.

"Oh hi!" she sighed with a large grin on her face.

"My names Jasper. Jasper Hale. I'm in the year senior year, two above you." I smiled to try and gain some points in her affections.

"I know who you are." She sounds exasperated but blushed. "You've kept me waiting a long time Jasper Hale. I was begging to lose hope you would ever ask me out." She giggles. I stood there absolutely staggered at her words. She had expected it and from what she said and the tone of voice she wanted it to happen. She had waited for to happen. And I like an inconsiderate idiot had kept her waiting for the entire year. And even now I am taking away precious moments of time thinking about the situation. I shouldn't keep her waiting even for another second.

"Sorry Ma'am." I said and her grin spread wider across her face.

"You know you still haven't done it jasper." She continued to giggle. I think I slightly blushed at my own stupidity. But I was so caught up in all her mannerism, her smile and spirit. I just stood there in awe.

She cleared her throat to gain my attention and I mentally shook my head to take me out of my gaze.

"Sorry." I mumbled before taking a deep breath to continue. "Alice I was wondering if you would be kind enough and go on a date with me?"

Alice's smile momentarily got brighter raising my hopes, but then a frown which I desperately wanting to wipe away weighed her lips down and caused her brows to furrow.

"What's wrong?" I put an arm on her shoulder trying to comfort her, ease her mood, and calm her. Just try and bring back that shine her eyes had lost.

"My father. I've been waiting for this day for a year and I never even considered him." She moaned moving back away from my touch and perched on the table. My heart swelled at the idea of her waiting for me to ask her out. But if she was so happy with the idea I couldn't understand the problems her father would have with it. Why would he prevent it?

"What do you mean?" I said not making any attempt to hide my anxiety, and mimicked her position on the table.

"My father Chief Swan doesn't allow us to date." She stated in a lifeless tone. Well I guess that did put an obstacle to my request.

"Maybe if I introduced myself and he met me he. Maybe he would make an acceptation if ..." but my words were halted by an exasperated sigh. I turned to look at her concern etched in my face.

"No. That won't work. He doesn't care who the guy is. To him all male teenagers are sperm producing machines sitting around to get me and my sister up the duff. And doing it in private well it would never be in private after all he is chief of police in Forks." She looked miserable. And even though I should be feeling upset because she was upset, and I was to an extent, but it was idea that the misery was due to not being able to be with me that she was pained created a spark of happiness. But I shook that to the side remembering my primary concern Alice. I put my arm around her in attempts to comfort her again, pulling her weight so she leaned into my side.

"It'll be okay he can't prevent you dating forever." I murmured trying to sooth her, rocking us back and forth.

"But it won't Jazzy." She sighed will I revelled in the new nickname I had required that only she could use. "I want to be with you now." My heart skipped a beat at her confession. "And if he could he would force me into a nunnery. Do you know what they ware in that place? I would rather die, they are hideous. Just because your worshipping god doesn't mean you can't do it in style." I struggled not to chuckle at this not want to make her mood worse. S settled for placing a chaste kiss on her forehead. That definitely made her smile which in turn made me smile. The bell sounded again reminding us that we had a one minute limit to reach our classes, basically stopping our conversation.

"Look I'll think about it tonight and I'll talk to you again tomorrow. Between the two of us I'm sure we could think of something. And if worse comes to the worse, we will just have to settle for being friends for the next two years until you've graduated. Your father won't be able to stop you then." I squeezed her slightly kissing her on her head again. She snuggled briefly into my chest for comfort before converting back into her bouncy nature and dancing towards the door.

"So I'll see you tomorrow then?" she beamed. I nodded before she disappeared out the door.

I just sat there trying to come to terms with what had just happened. Only five minutes ago I was scared shitless of being rejected by the love of my life and now I had basically told her I would wait for her for two years which made her smile. It made her fucking smile. I thought my heart was going to pound out of my chest.

But then I thought about our dilemma. I had no idea what to do. Talking to her father wasn't an option or dating in secret. So I was at a loss. But I was determined to solve it for her. I would solve it for her. For my little Ali.

The rest of the day and night, continued in the same daze. My attention was all focused on the problem and my body was just going through the motions of life. I think my parents were a bit confused by my large grin plastered to my face but it didn't explain to them the reason behind it, there was no point at the moment, and they would know soon enough. The night was pleasant with my dreams revolving around one special one woman and our life together. And I mean our life; my parents are old fashion so, so am I. When I fall in love, well I should say when I fell in love because I've already gone and done it. But when I fell in love it's for keeps no playing around and I would do anything for them.

The following mourning I practically sprinted out the door just to get to school. Yes to school the teenagers purgatory. But I sprinted to and speeded, just to get there as soon as possible. And I was definitely rewarded by the by the sight I pulled up to. Alice was standing on the steps to the entrance of Forks in a little white jumper dress craning her neck to look out at the car park. I flattered myself that I might be the person she was looking for.

I got out the car and when she was looking the other way I snuck up on her and hugged her from behind. She squealed with delight before she turned around and started jumping up and down on the spot with joy. I chuckled lightly to myself at her reaction.

"You're in a good mood." I stated, but she refused to come down.

"Yes I am Jazzy a very good mood." She bounced up again and kissed me on the cheek. I could help the smile that spread across my face. Her enthusiasm was infectious.

"And why may I ask?" she took my hand and started to drag me through the hall to our lockers. Her movements were so graceful; she practically danced down the corridor, twirling around under my arm.

"Because I have found a loop hole." A loop hole for what?

"I'm lost?" I answered truthfully.

"What you don't remember?" her small lips turned into a pout and instantly became remorseful. I had done something to make her sad. I racked my brains trying to work out what I did. But she spoke again before I had an answer. "You said you were going to find a way to date me how could you forget?" her eyes glazed over. Shit. I grasped her hands clutching them in desperation.

"Sweetie I was thinking about it, don't cry, I spent the whole night thinking about you, dreaming about you. I just got absorbed by your good mood I forgot all about our problem. I am so sorry." I begged her. This seemed to work.

"Okay. Well as I was saying I found a loop hole." She smiled. "Well actually my dad created one. He's made the rules more slackened. I can date when Bella does." The smile looked as if it would disappear at the mention of her sister's name but it stayed in place.

"So does your sister like anyone, has she got anyone..." she shook her head cutting me of. "Well it's only a matter of time I'm shore now she is able that she won't wait around. Who is your sister again?"

"My sister is Bella, Isabella Swan." The dislike was clear in her tone. It took me a moment but my smile was soon changing into a frown mirroring Alice's expression.

"Ahhhh." I groaned, she nodded in agreement. "So we are back to square one."

"No, not exactly..." she paused and a mischievous glint washed her eyes. I raised an eyebrow at her silently questioning her expression. "Well I thought about it and there is this guy and I think they are perfect for each other it would just take us somehow getting them together. It's just they aren't the sort of people to willingly date, either of them. And well the guy won't just do it because we ask him. Actually he would probably tell me to fuck of before I even got anywhere near him." The idea of some being that rude to make me feel angry, but I pushed it aside for the moment.

"Who exactly is this guy Ali?" I asked a little wary. If this guy was as rude as she says he is why would she want to set her sister up with him?

"Edward Cullen." She whispered. I thought I herd her wrong I was completely shocked.

"You want to set your sister up with Cullen. Ali, are you shore about this. I mean I know we need someone but him, seriously. Couldn't your sister do better, even deserve better than a guy who has an apparent drink driving and GBH record." I said my musings aloud.

"I know it sounds wrong Jazz, but I have thought it through seriously. He's the perfect guy the ying for her yang. Only he has the stubborn attitude strong enough to break down her barriers. He's our only hope. I just know it will work. We just have to get him on board with the plan. And I think I have solved that at as well..." she seemed to trail of in thought. I waited patiently while she got her books before we started to walk to my locker and I got mine. She hadn't said another word the whole time which put me on edge. But she finally turned around to look at me a smile on her face that didn't reach her eyes as if begging me to agree with her. I brought a hand to her face cupping her cheek. She leant into my hand.

"Money." She stated simply.

"Baby I don't have enough to pay him. I'm really sorry but I don't get my trust fund which isn't that big until I'm twenty one."

"I know." Well if she knew then why... "I'm sorry for this but I thought that perhaps we could get James Donner in on it. If he thinks that he would get a date out of it he would be more than willing to do it. And he's loaded so money isn't the issue... So... I spoke to him this morning and the plan has been set in action... are you really angry with me?" I didn't know how to answer. The idea of being able to date her, send time with her outside of school was... well perfection. But the idea of James any closer to my Ali just sent the wrong type of chills down my spine. But that wasn't her question, she wanted to know if I was angry, but there was no way I could ever be angry with her.

"Of course not Ali, but I want you to be careful. I have heard rumours about him and I don't want anything to happen to you." I hugged her close revelling in the closeness it brought.

"So now it's just a matter of time." She beamed and dragged me down the hall way towards what i guessed was her first class.

"Yes." I mumbled to myself. "Just a matter of time."


	3. Chapter 3

**This is just a needed point of view for this part of the story. I probably won't use it again, but seeing as though I don't want you understanding or knowing Edward too well at the moment this is the only point of view I can really use. So on the up side you get to know afew of James plans and sadistic thoughts. Enjoy.**

**Taming the Beast: James Donnor's point of view**

God look at that rack. Well if she didn't want me to stare she shouldn't wear a top which flaunts them. I'm only doing what she subconsciously wants. If she starts complaining ill put the bitch in her place. If there is one thing I hate is frigid flirts, teases. Woman going round flaunting themselves without expecting repercussions. Well she is begging for it and I'm going to give it to her. Well I would of but that little pixie tease distracted me.

"Hi James." She fluttered her eye lashes at me. Definitely gagging for it. Shame her dad is such a cockblocker.

"Hay sweet stuff. What's giving the pleasure of your smile this morning?" It was early I didn't even know what I was doing at school this early. And I had never seen anyone as bright and awake as the girl standing in front of me. So much energy. Probably good in the sack.

"My dad. He's well he's given me an incentive to talk to you." I raised my eyebrows at her. Of all the people in this god for saken town, her father is the last person I would expect to encourage her to talk to me.

"Oh really. I'm intrigued do tell." I moved forward so we were mere inches apart. I reached my hand up to slowly trace my hand down her jaw, she shivered in response. Whether she was scared or turned on I didn't really care. After all she was the one that came to me.

"Well soon it will be your lucky day. But that depends on whether you can help me out." Shameless flirt.

"And how would I be able to help such a beautiful young woman?" I moved my hand slowly down to her arm using my fingertips to create a trail of Goosebumps on her skin.

"Well there is this person you see, who will in no way listen to my request. And well you being of high social standing and..." she gazed at my arms, "strong, I'm sure you can get him to see reason." I moved back to lean against the school buildings walls. I pulled out some gum, popping a piece into my mouth.

"I'm listening." I nodded my headed motioning for her to continue. I was intrigued, not knowing what she was about to say. I just saw the prospect of getting my way with her.

"Well I'm allowed to date......... but only when Bella my sister does. Now I know you would be gaining from this little change in my father's rules. So you will benefit to help." She had me there, it would definitely benefit me. "I need you to get Cullen to date my sister. I trust you're the only one who will be able to get him to sway to your way of thinking." Cullen, the freak. The one who apparently killed the homeless dude at the shopping centre for spitting on his shoe.

"Cullen?" I questioned. Though somehow Cullen and Bella seemed oddly fitting. The freak and the frigid shrew. She just nodded her head in conformation. "What's in it for me?" I new what I would be taking but I was still interested in finding out what she expected.

"Well my dairy will be completely free for people to call me up for oh... say a date." She smiled in a flirtatious way before stepping back slightly gazing across my body as if sizing me up. "Unless you're scared of Cullen?" she was challenging me? She knew exactly what buttons to press to get me to do what she wants.

"No ill do it." Then I'll do you after. "Just leave it up to me." She smiled at my final words before skipping away shaking that cute little ass of hers tempting me.

All that remained now was working out how I was going to get Cullen to do what I wanted. I wasn't afraid of him. But that went both ways. In this whole dam town, only two people have ever been truly not afraid of me, that I've met. Chief Swan but that was probably part of the job description. It also made for more of a thrill when going after his little girls. But Cullen was the other. People kept a wide birth from him.

No one knew what I was capable of. But the town gossiped continuously about his antics. So I new that intimidation wasn't going to work. I mean that's why we were using this guy I suppose, because he wasn't a push over. After all Bella Swan has recently become a tough nut to crack. Though not tough enough for me. I still feel the fear radiating from her body when I'm near. And it feels good. So the only thing I could see working to get him on board would be the dollar signs. Which was not a problem. The amount he would want would probably be petty cash.

So now I just had to find this guy. Well we all heard about the biology incident yesterday but I wanted to find him before that. He didn't have any friends that I new of, he was a complete loner. So where would he hide out. His Ducati bike, Sport 1000 S, was in the bike in the shed. So that meant he was at school.

"Mike." I called. He was wandering around the school campus for the past fifteen minutes, so he might have seen him. "You seen Cullen around?" I said his name dripping with disgust.

"Yeh! He was just around the back sitting on the principles car." I nodded in appreciation before making my way around the back. Cullen was there sitting on the principle's hood gazing up at the sky. No doubt probably trying to piss our head of. But whatever, that's no business of mine.

"Cullen." I yelled trying to get his attention. But the sky seemed to him to be more interesting. This got me angry and I ended up pushing him of the car with a thud, and before I cold register he had me pinned up against the wall by my throat. I was finding it increasingly impossible to breath. When he saw my face turning purple he loosened my grip stepping back with a snarl.

"Something you want?" he raised his eyebrows in disbelief questioning my state of mind.

"I have a proposal to make." I gasped rubbing my neck where he had his hand previously.

"What the fuck do you have that could possibly interest me. Unless you're giving me permission to punch your prissy face." I think he was being serious because an evil smirk came onto his face.

"Well I heard a rumour that your trust fund doesn't get released for another couple of months due to a hold up at the office, or whatever. Anyway you need cash to pay for the paint job on your bike, after the scratch last week, and I also heard that your parents aren't willing to pay. So if you do something for me I can give you a steady cash flow." I took a wad of cash out of my pocket to emphasis. His eyes drifted to the cash and seem to soften in to a poker face instead of going in for the kill.

"So what do you want me to do?" still starring at the cash. Big give away that I've got his attention.

"You see I've got this problem, I can't take..." he interrupted me.

"I didn't ask that. Lets this clear, motives and problems or reasons you might have. I don't give a shit about. I asked you what you wanted me to do." For a moment I was a little scared. Not that I would let him now.

"I needed you to date Swan." Then he did something I had never seen him do before. He started to laugh.

"You got to be kidding." He looked at me in disbelief.

"No. I need you to date Bella Swan. And of course I will pay you handsomely for your inconveniences." He stopped laughing and used his hands to push back through his hair.

"Do you even know what you're asking me to do? She is such a ..."

"Bitch." I finished his sentence for him. "Yeh I know. But that's what I need. You in or out?" he seemed to consider that for a moment his eyes momentarily drifting back to the cash.

"How much?" it seemed that the money had got his attention.

"Five hundred up front for the first date. Then for each date after that another hundred. Don't worry after prom I won't be needing your services."

"Look you give me seven hundred for me, another three hundred for the date and tux est., now and I will get her on one date before prom and to the prom itself. No more, no less. Deal?" I was going to fight him, but the last thing I needed was him turning the deal down all together. It wasn't the money I just wanted a little more time with Alice to set the ground work before prom, before I do her.

"Deal. Just get a move on." I walked over counting out the money and shoving it into his hand. He didn't smile or say anything else; he just took the money and walked away from me back into the school building.

The next moment the bell rang and I made a quick dash across the campus to reach my French class before the bitch sent me to detention for being late.

On the way I caught a glimpse of Swan entering school. She might have turned into the shrew after our little encounter, but she still looked hot as ever. The combat trousers riding lower on her hips and her white top, which might not show her cleavage but definitely hugged her chest in a flattering way. I might just have to have another ride. She wouldn't be able to stop me. No matter how tough she acts.

I couldn't help but feel sorry for Cullen in a way. The way she acted now was in no way like how she used to be. She used to be just like all the of chicks in this school, gagging for it. It was all so easy to get her on her own.

_Flashback_

"_Please don't." she begged pushing herself further back onto the bed. As if she thought she could get away from me now. Bruises were starting to appear on her arms and leg. But that wasn't my problem._

"_Don't do__** what**__? You know what, __**you're**__ such a tease. You're __**all**__ such fucking teases. You walk around as if you're gagging for it. And now. I'm. going to take it." I walked forward pinning her quivering body onto the bed. She continued to shake wriggling out of my grip so I slapped her across the face trying to focus her attention. She was not going to ruin this for me. I need a release and I was not in the mood for her to put up a fight, I was going to enjoy this. The slap stopped her movements, but tears started to slip out of her eyes. Served her fucking right._

"_I...I d-don't want-t to." She sobbed._

"_Oh but sweet heart. That doesn't matter. I want to do, so we're going to, no matter what you feel we are going to do this." I brushed the hair away from her face. She cringed at my touched. So my hand reacted by slapping her hard around the face. She needed to learn some fucking manners._

_End Flashback_

But now she isn't so sappy. She has more strength. This time round I'm sure she would be more fun. But I'll let Cullen ware her down first. He's got a hard job ahead of him. He's got to tame the fucking shrew of forks high school. Good luck to him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Idiotic Spewing. Bella's point of view**

Once again subjected to the tedium of school. I was only yesterday I had nearly drown don't they seem to understand by forcing people to attend just ends up punishing the klutzes. I mean please if I didn't get forced to come here I could follow a much safer path of home schooling where the biggest fear of getting hurt would be receiving too much sleep in the mornings.

But I guess there is no point in complaining because fuck all will listen to me.

I had to laugh last night when I looked at Alice after receiving the new renovated rule. Her eyes contained hope. Frickin hope. She really thought now that I had the chance I would date. It was hard to hold back the laughter. But I soon put a stop to her thoughts and she stomped to her room just as moody as ever. She would still have to wait for graduation and she knew it. Because there was no way that I was going anywhere near a man just because I had been given the all clear. Why did she think dad had altered the rule in this fashion in the first place? He may not know why but he wasn't blind to my aversion to men.

But the next morning, i.e. this morning, Alice seemed her usual chipper self. Well as chipper as can be when I'm around, killing her buzz as she put it. But her moods were always erratic; she probably just put an extra spoonful of sugar in her coffee. Hyper pixie.

Too soon it came to the time I was dreading. I don't know what it was about to day, maybe it was the fact that Doner seemed to unusually stay away from me, or just the fact that some of the students actually smiled at me, but I had this feeling that I was not going to enjoy the next hour of my life. Skipping was a possibility, but that would just put me into Mrs Cope's capable hands and she was starting to delve to deep. And I really didn't want to have that conversation.

I slowed my pace down regaining my breath in an effort to steady my erratic heart beet, to no avail. I shift my shoulder bag high on my arm and gentle pushed open the door to my classroom. Great just great, I didn't even get a chance to compose myself. I get thrown into the lion's den straight into the lions jaw. I don't even get to have my last silent praise, no time to think, nothing. Cullen was already at my desk, and smirking at me. Fucking smirking at me. Asshole.

I walked over to my desk dropping down into the seat with an audible groan. I dumped my bag by my desk, manoeuvring the seat to be as far away from my partner. I took deep breath after deep breath, praying to get through class.

"Hay there girlie." I smug velvety voice called to me. I had never heard it before and was intrigued by who it was coming from. But the 'girlie' part didn't bode well for him. I would usually go and kick someone in the nuts for trying to refer to me as a little kid, so I was biting back the anger. But I really wanted to know who it was; his voice though smug was so smooth and enticing. So I slowly looked up from my desk doing a quick cast round the classroom before being trapped by the most mesmerizing pair of green eyes. They reminded me of a pair of emeralds. But when I realised the owner I quietly groaned. The voice and the eyes belonged to none other than Cullen. What the fuck did that cocky bastard want.

"What?" I spat out with venom, making it quite clear I was in no mood with a moronic attempt at a conversation with him.

"I wanted to introduce myself. I'm Edward Cullen." I was in shock, not at his weird way in speaking as if he was from a different centaury, but at the idiocy he was saying. This school has something like three hundred and fifty eight kids in the school. And to most people in the town there are around ten people that ever need to be introduced, two of which are Cullen and myself. So introductions were definitely not necessary.

"So." I said raising my eyebrows before turning back t the front of the class letting my hair fall to create a barrier between us. I had hoped that thanks to his reputation at least he wouldn't try and indulge in unnecessary mindless chit chat before class starts. Guess not. Shows how much I would know.

"You're not much of a talker huh?" I peeked through the curtain realising he was leant forward on his arms, mere inches from me. This was two close. I started to panic and I'm shore if my heart beat any faster it would be audible. I just needed to get further away I needed space. It was harder to breath. But how? I was in the middle of a class, and I was already at the end of the desk as it was. But if I remained there any longer I would hyperventilate. I raised my hand to get Mr Banner's attention.

"Yes Miss Swan." He said in a bored manner.

"Yeh. Mr Banner I'm starting to feel really nauseous, it might be someone's attempt at after shave, I don't know, could I please go to the office before I vomit in your classroom." When I mentioned the idea of spewing my guts out in his room he started nodding his head vigorously. I'm shore that was the only reason, after all when I mentioned the after shave he narrowed his eyes as if about to lecture me and send me to detention. But to be honest either were preferable options, to sitting here and passing out because of lack of oxygen. So I shot out of my seat picking up my bag. When I got out I sight I leant angst the wall breathing in the fresh air.

I only had two options that I could think of as I sunk to the floor in the hall way. If I was going to get through the year and not be utterly humiliated. One skip that class every single day, I would take the detentions. But Charlie would probably blow a gasket and I don't think I have enough credits t graduate if I did that. Or I could just change my class. I know for a fact there must be a place open in another bio class, after all Cullen just switched. And anybody else apart from **one** would be easier to intimidate to leave me the hell alone. So I would just switch class. But that meant talking to Mrs Cope. But I would take that above the others any day.

I slowly and quietly made my way down to where her office was. I could walk there blind and not bump into anyone or thing, which is saying something for a klutz like me. I reached the door and knocked lightly three times on the door.

"Come in." A chiming voice called. So I pushed the door open and went to sit in my usual seat without another word. "To what do I owe this pleasure?" she narrowed her eyes at me. I didn't know how to start. What was the best way of achieving my goal without having to answer to many questions? I started to play with the hem of my shirt, trying to form some sort of response which seemed plausible.

"It's about my Biology class. A student just switched to my period. And I was wondering if it were possible for me to take his place?" I said slowly in a firm voice, looking her straight in the eye.

"Bella. We only switch our student's classes at this point in the year for certain reasons. I'm sorry, but unless you have a problem with Mr Banner's teaching and would like to make a complaint, or you have Mr. Banner requiring a change due to your behaviour, you will have to stay put. But the problem is either way someone will be at fault and will become investigated or punished depending on who it is that is making the complaint." She said peering over the top of her glasses.

"Please Mrs Cope. I might seem unorthodox but I assure you there is a good reason behind my request." I ended up resorting to begging. But I was desperate.

"Well if you can tell me the reason we might have something t work with." She seemed to realise how truly panicked I was. She got up from her chair crouching down in front of me. "I'm going to say this again and again Bella until you listen to me. This room is a safe place. I can't tell anyone what you tell me. Therefore if you tell me the reason and you don't want me tell anyone; at least I can help you find a way around this." She placed a hand on my knee, in efforts to comfort me. The only reason I didn't recoil is I could see it was her in front of me, a woman.

"It's just I don't like having a lab partner, I like to have my space." I mumbled aware she was staring straight at me. I didn't like her focusing her attention on me. I felt like I was under interrogation, and the next thing you know she was going to whip a lie detector out of her cupboard. Then I would be royally screwed. When I mentioned having my own space she noted her hand and removed it.

"I completely understand Bella, but the problem is half the people in the school don't like there lab partners, if we were to make an exception for you then... well you see where I'm headed." She got back up and resumed her seat trying to decipher my real problem. "But if there were more to it..." she prompted leaving it hanging in the air. "I know you're struggling with something, and I don't know when you'll be able to tell me, but life is tough. If you want to deal with things you got to relive and deal with those memories. Only then will you finally get closure."

I don't know what happened. The moment I heard her say the word closure, my mind went dark as flash back after flashback created a haunting view.

_Flashback_

_His hand grasped tightly to my arms, pinning them above my head. His other hand cupped my right breast firmly scrapping his thumbnail over my nipple. I shiver and whimpered continuously, but knew better than to make any protest._

_Just another minute and it will be over, just another minute and it will be over. I chanted it over and over to myself. The pain was excruciating. He was by no means being gentle. Each thrust felt like another sharp blade cutting into m, then twisting around inside as if trying to skin me from the inside out. I was pretty certain I was bleeding. But I would have to wait to find out. Silent tears were pouring out my eyes, staining my cheeks as I was not able to wipe them away_

_...........................An immeasurable time later................................._

"_I'm going to go know." He smiled, gazing at my naked crumpled state on the bed. I averted my gaze, so I didn't have to see his sick grin which was about to appear. "The room is hired for the night. Stay, go I don't really but drop the key to the office when you leave. You are expect to be out by nine." He dropped something, which from the clang sound was probably a key, on to the dresser. I heard the door open and a cool breeze made my body become covered in goose bumps. "Oh and Bella." He paused. "Last night was fun for me and I'm sure for you to. Just don't go bragging. At least we both got our closure." Then I heard the door slam, and I knew I was alone._

_Finish Flashback._

I sat there in Mrs Cope's office; I'm not sure for how long. The only thing I was aware of was the image blazing through my eyes, and the fact that I could stop trembling. I had never reacted like that before. At least never in public. And I had just gone to pieces in front of the one person who suspected something was wrong with me.

"Bella. Bella." Mrs. Cope's worried voice called to me. I looked up to see her eyes shining with concern. But I could stay focused for long. I was begging to feel light headed. I had never been able to cope with emotional outbursts; they always took away all my energy. "Bella look at me. I need you to look at me Bella."

"I can't... I'm so tired." I sobbed. My head spinning from the emotions coursing through.

"I know Bella. I know sweetheart. I'm going to let you rest for the next period. Do you think you'll be able to make it to my couch if...?"I didn't hear the end of what she was saying, because the next moment everything was dark. I was pretty shore I was asleep. And the nightmares confirmed it.

I was in a large room. It was dark. It was eerily quiet. The only sound came from the stammering of my heart.

"HELLO!" I yelled trying to find someone to help me. "Hello." I whispered. There were silent foot falls coming from somewhere in the room but I couldn't say where from. I whipped my head around in an effort to find the person.

"Bella. You'll only find me by coming into the dark." I knew that voice it haunted me every time my eyes closed.

"I don't want to." I tried to sound firm. But my voice cracked ad I knew he heard it. I needed to find an escape. But there were no exits. Only darkness.

"You know you have to come into the dark, you have no other option. You know you want to just as much as I want you too."

"Go away James." I all but screeched. The darkness was closing in. Inch by inch creeping silently, moving to consume me. Every now and again I swore I could feel someone's hand I different parts f my body. I whipped around again and again shaving the air around me in an effort to smack the groping hand. But one was there. The darkness was getting closer and closer until it felt like I was standing under the solitary spot light. I whimpered praying for someone to come and stop him. Stop him from doing this again. I wouldn't cope. He couldn't do this again. Not to me. Not again.

"Let's make this interesting shall we." His sinister voice chuckled. The next thing I heard were two claps and the light went out. The hope went out. And the next thing I new I woke up to a blood curdling scream, bolting right out of the bed to come face to face with a pair of green eyes.

**Edwards Point of view (Just a short one.)**

My after shave. I don't wear fucking after shave. Did she really just feel sick sitting next to me? She fucking strange. People really did call her the shrew for a reason. And I have to fucking date her. It wasn't that she was ugly or anything, but god her attitude. How the hell was I supposed to tame her enough to go out with me? I needed that cash. Though I could just keep it and forget about the deal. It wasn't like he could do much about it anyway. He doesn't intimidate me, ad I proved this morning that I could take him I a fight. But half of me didn't want to tame her. It's not like she has ever done anything to me, so why should I start fucking with her life. She has made it abundantly clear she doesn't want to be near me. She actually flinches away from me.

I was still in this turmoil walking down the hall to Spanish when I heard miss cope's high pitch squeal.

"Mr Cullen. I require your help a moment." She called from the office doorway. I made my way over quickly. Better to get this over with. What could I of possibly done now? But as soon as I enter her room my eyes went straight to the passed out girl in the chair. Her brunette locks strewn all over the place. She had a slight sheen of sweet across her forehead causing random stray hairs to stick to it. When I looked closely at the face I realised it was Bella. I guess she really was ill. Before I noticed my actions I was crouched down in front of her checking her forehead, for a temperature I guess. She looked sickly pale, tired and was begging to whimper.

"What do you want me to do?" why was I hear? Surely to this was the nurse's job. I mean it was known amongst the staff that I was the doctor's son but it's the nurse's job to look after sick students.

"I need your help to take her to the nurse's office. I need to get her lied down on to a bed, and I assumed you would be kind enough to keep this quiet." I nodded my agreement, quickly scooping her up into m arms. A sudden bolt of electricity flowed through me on contact, I nearly dropped her. When Mrs. Cope said the halls were clear we quickly walked down to the nurse's office, Bella trembling in my arms. I laid her gently onto a bed and stepped back.

Both Mrs. Cope and I were looking at Bella with worried expressions. She did not look well. She looked as though she hadn't slept in years. Dark purple circles seemed to have taken residence udder her eyes. She had been pale before but now she seemed translucent. She seemed so fragile, like a porcelain doll.

"I don't want to." A tear escaped her cheek. She was talking, well sobbing in her sleep. Mrs. Cope had moved to a seat, forgetting about her presence. I wasn't quite sure if I should stay or go. But I didn't want to go.

I still didn't know what I was going to do about James and the deal. Well I didn't until I heard her next words. "Go away James." Her defenceless voice wept. I didn't know what sick game James was trying to play, but it was clear from her voice she was scared of him, and I didn't want to become a part of his messed up schemes.

It was quiet for a long time. The only sound was the rapidly increasing intake of breath Bella was taking. She was evidently having a nightmare. The blood curdling scream verified this, chilling my spine. When I opened my eyes from the shrill noise, I was looking straight back into liquid pools of chocolate, glazed over with tears.

She might seem tough but the shrew of a shell which people fear in the school halls. But that tough exterior seems only to be a shoddy built wall which is rapidly crumbling, despite her trying to restore it. It's as if she is fighting the big bad wolf of her past but despite her efforts he is still managing to blow her house down, brick by brick.


	5. Chapter 5

**Bella's point of view**

I just sat there starring. What was I supposed to do? Some random guy had just witnessed me have a complete melt down. After my efforts to stay strong in front of him, he managed to see me when I wasn't able to control my own actions and was at my weakest. My first reaction was anger. Anger at everyone and everything. Anger at James for doing what he did to me. Anger at my father for being unapproachable. Anger at Alice for not noticing anything was wrong and being so self-centred in her feelings. Anger at Mrs Cope for letting Cullen near me when I was in that state. But anger most of all at myself for letting things effect me, for being so weak. I hated myself for it. After everything I did. Protecting my family and friends from the news, all so they didn't have anything to worry about, to stress about. But even after that I went and left someone out. Me. I could protect everyone else until I was blue in the face; suffer in silence so they could live their happy simple lives in peace. But if I then ended up crumbling then any effort I had would be in vain. They would find out. But not only would they find out, but they would have nothing to worry about, because I would be at least in one sense lifeless.

But these thoughts made even angrier, and my anger eventually surfaced into tears. The look on Cullen's face as my eyes began to water was marred by confusion. His chiselled jaw clenched tight as his green eyes attempted to penetrate my mind.

It took me a minute to realise that we had been sitting there in silence for a very long time as I processed my thoughts. We hadn't spoken even after my scream he just stood silent. But what I couldn't understand is why he was even still here. I think I opened my mouth a couple of times, but like a gaping fish I closed it almost immediately_. What do I say? Oh God what do I say? What do I do, oh what I do, say something Bella. Put up the wall, you can still rescue this. Who are you kidding, this can't be rescued. He's seen you at your weakest; he has power over you just like James does. Why shouldn't he use it? What stopping him? _

My brown clouded eyes glared at him through my teary fog as I tried to summon up the courage and the words to say. I'm sure my mouth opened and closed a few times, but if it did he didn't mention it. From the look on his face he was at just a loss for words as I was. His piercing green eyes never focused on one area in the room for long as if eye contact was impossible. His body was rigid against the wall as if some force was pinning to it making it impossible for his body to relax. I knew how he felt.

Never being able to relax. Always on edge. That's how I felt. The day James touch me was the day he broke the connection between my spine and my brain and I was left paralyzed in the rigid position he left me I on the bed. Replaying the moment over and over again. It was like my own mini mantra constantly telling me that life shits on even the most defenceless people, so you got to suck it up and live. But the saying it was easier than doing it.

I continued to glare hoping he would either break the uncomfortable silence or just leave. I preferred the option of just leaving. It would be as if nothing ever happened and he hadn't seen just how fucked I was. But no such miracles happened he just remained standing there with unfocused eyes.

"What?" I meant to sound irritated and strong, but my voice croaked from all the crying. This seemed to snap him to attention and his eyes darted directly to mine.

"Nothing. Just counting down the days until I can leave this hell hole. I mean its drive you crazy literally." He smirked. But it wasn't an unkind smirk. You could tell he was just as uncomfortable as I was and wanted to forget what just happened, and for that I was grateful so I decided to play along.

"Yes I mean if it wasn't for Mrs Cope suggesting getting a summer job here I don't think I would be lying in this bed right now." I replied.

"Yes the mention of spending any extra time in this place would send me into a screaming fit to." He gave a dry little chuckle. But the comment didn't put me at ease as intended instead it just reminded me the extent of what he new.

"What did I scream?" I said dryly trying to hold my nerve. His body went rigid again recognising my change in demeanour.

"What?" his voice was hard but you could hear the slight quivering of his voice.

"I said… WHAT did I say?" my voice breaking half way through.

"Nothing, honestly you just screamed." His voice was eerily calm as if hiding something. I raised an eyebrow starring at him waiting for him to break. But he didn't so I looked away lowering my head and gnawed at my lip.

"Please get out." I said trying to hold my voice together firmly. I didn't want to cry again in front of him.

It took a while before I heard the door open and shut. I guess he was battling with some inner turmoil between relief at being given an exit and terror in making the wrong decision.

I sat there in silence in the sterile white room lying curled up on the uncomfortable table slash bed. Silent sobs racked through my body shaking me to within an inch of my wits. It was the first time in so long that I had actually been able to realise my emotions. But know they were coming out like a nuclear melt down. I felt if anyone came in the room at that moment they along with anyone else in my path way would be destroyed.

The tears continued to pour until there was nothing more to spill and then the cry's turned into dry sobs. Sobbing for a long time.

At some point I was aware of Mrs Cope coming in a putting a blanket over me. She told me that she had called my father to come pick me up. That was enough to snap me out of my emotions and I walked out the office to phone my father to tell him ounce again that I was fine and that he didn't need to come rescue me.

********************** The next day************************

Walking into the school the following mourning was hard. I felt as if every eye was on me. I know that it was stupid to believe that everyone was staring at me but that's how I felt. I just couldn't help the feeling. Each step there judging eyes followed. I felt like screaming at them to look the fuck away but that would just make me look like the crazy loon that I am. So I just glared, as I stomped through the school grounds, at anyone who got in my way. This was much more effective as most of the people at this school were scared that I was contagious.

People left me alone just like usual which put my mind some what at ease. At least Cullen hadn't spread gossip about my mental break down. I mean James didn't bother to corner me at lunch even though he sent me a few hostile looks at lunch. But that wasn't unusual.

Before I knew it the bell went and it was time to go to Biology again. That was one problem I hadn't solved yet. Though Mrs Cope new that she was getting closer to the through about my past she hadn't agreed to helping me with the seating arrangement. Which meant in a few short minutes I would ounce again be seated next to Cullen.

I didn't know if I would be handle it. I couldn't last time which was only yesterday. And to make it worse he had seen me at my weakest. How was I supposed to get through it? I would just have to. I slowed my pace minimizing the time I would have to spend in the classroom. Of course he was already there when I reached my desk, sitting in a lazy manner with his books scattered across the majority of the desk. I internally groaned. He was deliberately making it impossible to get away. I scuffed my shoes deliberately and scraped the chair along the floor, to alert him to my presence. But he made no move to make room on the desk for me, so I slumped in my chair, looking in the opposite direction from him.

From the corner of my eye I swear I saw him smirk. But I refused to acknowledge him. I was having bigger problems at the moment. I was trying to control my heart beat which was pounding aggressively in my chest. I rubbed my palms on my scuffed up jeans in an attempted to make my palms stop sweating, and of course I started to chew my lip.

Not a moment to soon our teacher strolled in dragging a shelf full of microscopes and slides. This time I groaned audibly. We were doing a lab. Which meant working with partners. Which meant actually working with Cullen. Not just sitting with Cullen in such close proximity but actually working with him, talking to him, interacting with him. I felt my body shutting down at just the mere thought.

"Wright. Class. You've probably already realised but were going to be doing a lab today. You'll be working in pairs. So one of you need to come and get a microscope and a set of five slides once I've finished. Okay once you have the microscope you will need to create a column and label the slides into the different stages of mitosis with a brief explanation for each. You have the entire class to do this, because I need to catch up with marking your essays. So if you finish early just hand your sheets in and sit quietly. I expect no childish behaviour and you all to have a table of information by the end of class. Okay you may begin."

The class became a slow scurry of activity. The other groups getting up to retrieve the need equipment for our lab. I made no move to move. Neither did he.

"I like that top on you." I heard his velvety voice say beside me. But when I looked at his face any irritation at the complement was thrown out by the mindless abuse he seemed to be experiencing evident on his face. He clearly didn't mean to say that out loud. And I wasn't even a particularly nice top. I was just wearing small blue hoody which had to large eyes on the back with the words 'windows' written on the front in bold black ink.

"What? My stupidity amuses you?" he questioned in mock anger. A smirk slowly crawling onto his lips.

"Not amuses, but it puts me at ease." I didn't mean to say the last part and looked away to hid my embarrassment.

"I'm glad." He answered truthfully before getting um to retrieve our equipment left on the shelf. All the other pairs were working away. We were the only couple left not started.

I took a couple of deep breaths calming myself down while I had a brief moment to myself. He might only be on the other side of the room but I gave me a chance to clear my head. I was fully aware that he was watching me calculating my every movement. It had to be strong. How long did I have left? I looked at my watch. I groaned at the sight. Had I really only been sitting here for ten seven minutes. God time had been going slow, to slow. I had to struggle through another fifty three minutes in here. So close to a man, Cullen. Within touching distance. Where he would be able to control and manipulate me. But I wouldn't let him, I couldn't.

My heart rate began to sore. And any attempt to make my palms become unclammy was wasted. Breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out. If I just kept reciting that to myself maybe I could make it through but if this were the case when he was across the other side of the classroom. Did I even have a chance in hell working beside him? I couldn't break down again I mustn't.

"Here we go." His voice startled me from my haze making me jump. I hadn't noticed him return. I kept my eyes locked on the equipment as he placed the things required on the table.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you." His voice seemed very cautious. "You ready to start?" my eyes were still trained on the microscope. "Or I could start?" he continued when I didn't answer. I couldn't answer. I was hyper aware how close he was to me. Centre metres away. I couldn't answer because it was taking everything in me not to hyperventilate.

I'm sure he thought I was insane. Yesterday I'm a bullish girl how snaps at him the moment he gets even close today I shut down and become mute.

He did the lab work looking at me every now and then discerning my behaviour. He didn't say anything though he just looked judging. Everyone always judges. But I felt something else from him it wasn't like everyone else. It wasn't disgust or revulsion, but something soft that I hadn't seen or felt from anyone but I could label it. Sympathy maybe, but what would he have to feel sympathetic about.

The bell rang announcing the end of class. A small thrill ran through my body. I had made it through. In a paralyzed sense yes but I had done it. I could finally leave, every second I staid there I was one second closer to crumbling.

I stood quickly gathering all my things together rushing for my escape. He just sat there keeping that gaze on me, and for a moment I faltered. I felt horrible. Horrible for something that had nothing to do with me, for something that was not my fault. But the way I had treated him made me feel wrong. I had treated him with fear and disgust. Like I would any man. But at that moment I felt as if I should have tried harder so he wouldn't see me like this. And in that one moment I felt a compulsion to say something that I swore I would never utter again.

"Sorry." I murmured before sprinting out of the room.

I ran. I ran as fast as I could. Why did I say it? My hands were shaking but I carried on running

_Flashback_

_I ran. I ran as fast as I could. My hands were shaking but I carried on running. I had to get away. The stench of the motel room, the stench of his cologne was everywhere. I just had to get away. My feet killed as they smacked bare foot along the stone pavement. Smack. Smack. Smack. The stones pulverising my feet, but I couldn't feel the pain, because I had to keep running. To keep moving. _

_I was pretty sure I was crying. Each ounce of humanity pouring through me and out my eyes, the place I once believed was the widow to your soul. It seemed pretty fitting that that was the way my humanity would leave me. Drip by drip. Drop by drop._

_My heart beat was steadily increasing as if my heart was gradually drawing closer to its climax. That's what it felt like I had reached the climax of my life, not my existence, but my life. I had become the walking dead._

_People feared myths about mummies and vampires. Scared that they could exist. Put rituals and defences up so that they could never come to be. But there not the ones to be worried about. I new that now. You should never be scared of the living dead they were just trying to get through there existence. You should blame the person who put them there. Fear them. They were the true monsters. They were the ones who were making the living dead become a reality and walk around life. We can't be blamed we have no escape. We, from that one moment that They ignite that fire are living in a constant state of pergatory._

_My breaths were becoming shallower and shallower. My arms were pumping. And my body was shaking. I had no idea where I was going and as the rain began to call I gradual realised I was running nowhere. Where was I going to go? I couldn't turn up at home looking like this. I had barely any clothes on; there were bruises on my body which I couldn't conceal and my hair was becoming soaked by the rain. My feet were battered and bruised and I had I had a large hand print across my face. I had nowhere to go._

_I was alone._

_My head whipped round frantically at the sound of a car. I couldn't let them see like this. So I ran. I had no option but to go back the way I came._

_End Flashback_

I ran. Turning corner after corner weaving in and out of the crowds to reach the door where I could start to breath. I slammed the door behind me. Word would spread that the shrew was in hear so the few that dared to enter my sanctuary wouldn't enter. Cubicle after cubicle was smashed open with my foot to reveal and empty toilet.

I took residence in the far corner leaning my quivering body up against the wall, biting my lip, and raising my knees to my chest.

The pain would go away, just for a second it would leave. I would feel numb. It was the biggest hope I had. That I would just go completely numb and for a few moments I would. I wasn't heard to achieve. Just one clean cut to my arm. No one would ever know. "Bella the silly klutz cut herself again." Charlie would say. Yeh Bella the silly klutz cut herself again.

I slowly pulled my dads razor out of my bag. He hadn't even noticed it missing. He had been working so much lately, I doubt he even had time to shave. So I took it and used it. Again and again and again. It was my relief. The pain was minimal in comparison, but I deserved it, it was the price to pay for freedom. The only thing sweet would be endless numbness but that choice wasn't up to me, I had others to consider. But no one could fault me this one indulgence. Could they?

I smelt the rustic metallic smell and new the numbness would follow soon. So I sat back and readied my self for the few seconds of freedom. They were blissful.

I could feel the air on my skin. The cold air which created goose bumps to stand on my arms and neck. Everywhere was blue. Blue ocean, blue sky blue flowers. Everything blue. Then grey, and brown and red and murky yellow and black until I was back ounce again in my surroundings.

I took a few tissues to mop up the remains of blood which were on my arm, before flushing it down the loo and placing the razor back in my bag.

I had gym next.


End file.
